By Allen White
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Matthew 19:10-12
In Bible College, there was always a group of guys who claimed to be “Bachelors ‘til the Rapture.” This was the group that spent Saturday nights alone in their dorm rooms. If you couldn’t get a date, then why not over-spiritualize it?
The disciples’ question about avoiding marriage implies that they weren’t married at the time. If they had been married, they would have known better than to ask. Marriage is worth far more than all of the trouble.
To have someone who loves you and believes in you - To have someone to support and encourage - To have a partner and companion - To have a lover and friend – these are the benefits despite any conflicts.
But, Jesus said, “Hey, if you’re called to be a eunuch, then be a eunuch.” Some men were born eunuchs. Some became eunuchs. These often worked in harems. If a person could accept it, then, sure, he could be a eunuch for the Kingdom. Some people are indeed called to be single – but not many of us.
Studies show the happiest man is a married man. Of course, they also say the happiest woman is an unmarried woman. It’s probably a good thing that other studies show that woman tend to outlive men.
When I was single, I was a pretty good Christian in my own mind. Marriage has certainly revealed my selfishness and flaws. Now, I know what to work on. And, I certainly have plenty to pray about.
Several years ago, a man in our church began to lose interest in his wife. His interest was drawn toward a girl he dated in high school. Even though he hadn’t talked to her in years, he began to imagine his life with her instead of his actual wife, who he talked to every day.
Eventually their marriage failed. His relationship with his wife just couldn’t compete with the imaginary relationship in his head. He lost his wife and children to live alone with his fantasy. He never reconnected with his long lost love. Last I heard, he still lives alone.
Would it be better to live alone than to deal with the problems in marriage? Absolutely not. If God has called you to be single for Him, then you’re not married now. If you are single and you feel God has called you to remain single for Him, then God will give you the grace you need.
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A counselor friend of mine once said, a good marriage is hard work. A struggling marriage needs even harder work to survive. Thankfully with Jesus there is always healing available. Thanks for your post. God Bless!
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