Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Resolving Conflict or Twisting Scripture?

By Allen White

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:15-20

Believers do a version of this in the church today, but it goes more like this:

If your brother or sister sins, go…to one or two others and talk about the offender. Build your case. Assassinate their character. Hold resentment against them. Snub them at every turn. Make them so uncomfortable that they will eventually leave.



It’s pretty obvious that version is a case of twisted Scripture. Jesus wasn’t advocating any kind of triangulation or co-dependency in His teaching. This is a straight forward approach.

Now, someone sinning against us is not just a difference of opinion. When we’re talking sin, it means the 10 Commandments or one of the sin lists from the New Testament. Sins is lying, gossip, slander, stealing, murder, and so on.

If I sin against you, then before you consult with everybody we know, you and I need to sit down – face to face, eye to eye – and you need to point out my fault. But, don’t act like you’ve never sinned.

Now, we might not be able to resolve all of this in one conversation, so let’s keep talking. As long as we are willing to talk to each other, then we don’t need to involve anyone else. But, if at some point, I refuse to admit my fault or seek forgiveness, then it’s time to find a third party to bring into the conversation.

If the assistance of a third party helps things, then we’re good. If not, then we need to involve many more people. Now “church” here could mean different things.

Let’s say the incident occurred within our small group. We don’t need to call a membership meeting of the whole church to address it. But, we do need to discuss this in our group. Again, this is the last resort.

If I continue to refuse you after all of these folks who care about me have intervened, then it’s time to put me out.  But, what does that mean?

Jesus’ instructions were to treat the person like “a pagan or a tax collector.” So, what does that mean?

 In Jesus’ day, a pagan simply was an unbeliever. And, tax collectors were Jews who turned against their own people by collecting taxes for the Romans, and for themselves. Both pagans and tax collectors are essentially unbelievers. How are we supposed to treat unbelievers?

The church’s mission in the world is to love unbelievers and challenge them with their need to repent. After putting an unrepentant believer out of the circle, his fellow brothers and sisters should continue to love him and challenge him to repent. But, they don’t include them in their circle of fellowship. The admission for that is a repentant heart.

But, what if we enforce this and everyone’s circle becomes “me, myself and I.” I think that’s the risk that we take. The greater risk is that by harboring resentment and ignoring offenses, we continue to allow the devil to gain a foothold in the church.

Then, we wonder why the church is dwindling in size and why giving is down. We wonder why we can’t reach more people for Christ. The church can get itself so bound up in unrepentance and sin that God will no longer bless it. Let’s not go there.

Who has sinned against you? You might need to make a list. What is your next step in discussing the situation with them? This doesn’t have to be a hostile confrontation. Maybe they didn’t even realize how their actions affected you. Ask God what you should do next (but don’t ask anyone else).

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