By
Allen White
In
your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and
do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27
I
like to avoid conflict. Sometimes I like to pretend that there is no conflict
and just go about life like normal. But, unresolved conflict doesn’t go away.
It’s the elephant in the room. It’s the mound of dirt under the rug. It’s the
source of passive-aggressive behavior. Avoiding conflict doesn’t make anything
any better.
But,
when we enter the danger of conflict, chances are that feelings will be hurt,
particularly mine. Who wants to volunteer for that?
If
you’ve been to Caesar’s Head State Park in South Carolina, then you’ve probably
wondered down a small wooden staircase into a narrow passage called “The
Devil’s Kitchen.” You walk through a gap that’s only about four feet wide where
the granite has split.
“The story goes that the devil himself used to
brew moonshine on top of Caesars Head. He brewed a very potent brand of
shine. It was so potent that he spilled
a single drop of the shine on the overlook and it split the rock. So the split
became known as the Devil's Kitchen because this is where he cooked the strong
brew that split the rock.” (Source: Southcarolinaparks.com http://www.southcarolinaparks.com/park-finder/parksfaq/whatname.aspx)
Now,
I’m not sure whether the devil actually brews moonshine, but I can definitely
see the connection.
Unresolved
anger creates a split in a relationship that gives the devil a foothold. One
disagreement might not be as powerful as the drop of moonshine that created the
Devil’s Kitchen, but drop by drop relationships are fractured until they eventually
split.
The
solution is easy, and yet it’s not. Don’t let things go on forever. In fact,
don’t let any conflict that happened today, go beyond today. Don’t let the sun
go down.
While
it’s easier said than done, we need to man up or woman up and face the conflict
head-on, especially if we are the offender. Whatever the issue is nothing is
more important than the relationship. If the other person won’t hear you, take
someone with you (Matthew 18:16). Preferably take a wiser person or a
counselor. This isn’t a matter of proving who’s right and who’s wrong. This is
about preserving the relationship and growing.
What
relationship do you need to resolve? God doesn’t allow us to just write people
off. If they are willing to talk, then listen. If they are willing to
reconcile, then consider it.
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