Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
When someone hurts us, we are placed at a fork in the road. Simply put, we have two choices: forgiveness or resentment. Neither choice is easy. Resentment locks us in a prison of emotional pain. Forgiveness is freeing, but it’s not cheap.
Some have bought into the false notion that we forgive and forget. I don’t think that’s actually possible. The best we can probably do is forgive and repress, but that actually feels more like resentment.
Forgiveness is costly. Sometimes people will say, “That’s okay. It really doesn’t matter.” That’s not really forgiveness. In fact, forgiveness is only required when their actions really did hurt and really do matter.
Think about this: forgiveness was tremendously costly to God. Jesus died on the cross to offer forgiveness of our sins. God couldn’t say, “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Our sin results in eternal separation from God. Our forgiveness comes at a considerable price.
Forgiveness is not brushing off someone else’s action. Forgiveness says, “I have every right to hold this against you. You harmed me. Intentionally or unintentionally, you did damage to me that I did not deserve. Because of that, you deserve to pay. You deserve the heat of my anger. You certainly don’t deserve to be in relationship with me. But, considering all of that, because Christ forgave me of much worse things, through Christ I am able to forgive you. I don’t know if I can trust you right away, but I am not going to let this stand between us. It will never be forgotten, but I’m not going to hold it against you. And, I will stop wishing that you’d get run over by a bus.”
Who do you need to forgive? On this Mother’s Day week, maybe you need to forgive your mother for something that happened long ago. I would encourage you to release that. Maybe forgiveness isn’t necessarily offered in a conversation with her, but it certainly can be offered in your heart. Even if your mother has passed from this life, it is worth it to free yourself from the bondage of resentment and to forgive.
Showing posts with label Mother's Day 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mother's Day 2010. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
What Are Your Children Called to Do?
Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:51; 2:19
Twice in Luke chapter two, Mary “treasured” things that she witnessed about Jesus. The first was the angel’s announcement about God sending His Son to the world through Mary. The second was when Mary and Joseph returned to find Jesus speaking with the Rabbis in the temple. While Mary had indisputable evidence as to Jesus’ origin and purpose, the signs of His mission revealed even in His childhood were precious to her.
Your child is special, and not just the short bus variety (but some of us have those special ones too). God has a unique purpose for each of your children. God has given them talents and abilities to fulfill a calling in life that only they can do. Have you thought about that?
What is your child’s natural talent other than annoying his parents? What does she do that stands out? What are they naturally drawn toward? Can you never get them in the house? Can you never get them out? Does he like to take things apart and figure out how they work? Or, does she destroy things? Do your children sing? Do they tell jokes? Do they like to read?
I believe that part of our responsibility as parents is to expose our children to all kinds of things and see what they’re good at. That doesn’t mean to torment them with things you would like to see them do. If your future pro linebacker hates playing the piano, just save the money. You’ll need it for your grocery budget down the road.
Take time to notice your child’s likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Then, pray for how God will use them in this world.
Twice in Luke chapter two, Mary “treasured” things that she witnessed about Jesus. The first was the angel’s announcement about God sending His Son to the world through Mary. The second was when Mary and Joseph returned to find Jesus speaking with the Rabbis in the temple. While Mary had indisputable evidence as to Jesus’ origin and purpose, the signs of His mission revealed even in His childhood were precious to her.
Your child is special, and not just the short bus variety (but some of us have those special ones too). God has a unique purpose for each of your children. God has given them talents and abilities to fulfill a calling in life that only they can do. Have you thought about that?
What is your child’s natural talent other than annoying his parents? What does she do that stands out? What are they naturally drawn toward? Can you never get them in the house? Can you never get them out? Does he like to take things apart and figure out how they work? Or, does she destroy things? Do your children sing? Do they tell jokes? Do they like to read?
I believe that part of our responsibility as parents is to expose our children to all kinds of things and see what they’re good at. That doesn’t mean to torment them with things you would like to see them do. If your future pro linebacker hates playing the piano, just save the money. You’ll need it for your grocery budget down the road.
Take time to notice your child’s likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses. Then, pray for how God will use them in this world.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
How Can I Keep from Screwing Up My Kids?
Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."
"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Luke 2:41-50
I love this story. Mary and Joseph lost the Savior. That’s ironic! Jesus came to seek and to save the lost. At 12 years old, He was lost.
I often panic when I can’t spot my kids on the playground. I can’t imagine losing one for a couple of days. But, that’s exactly what Jesus’ parents did. They lost the most significant child to ever be born.
Now, Jesus’ parents weren’t being neglectful. They were probably traveling with a large group of people. And, there were probably other boys named Jesus in the group. It was an honest mistake.
All parents make mistakes. And, their parents also made mistakes. We can trace parenting mistakes all of the way back to Adam and Eve in the Garden. I don’t offer this as an excuse. We can all do better. But, when we start out as parents, we don’t start as a blank slate. We had parents, and fortunately or unfortunately, that is our default.
So let’s say that as a father you have difficulty connecting with your son. When you look back at your childhood, you see that your father had difficulty connecting with you. And, your grandfather had difficulty connecting with your father when he was a boy. By default, this pattern will continue on and on. But, it doesn’t have to.
If by example or makeup or excuse, you cannot connect with your son, then you choose to find what your son is interested in and make a regular effort to connect with him. As unnatural as this might seem at first, over time you make regular connections with your son. With God’s help, that pattern is broken and your grandson will already have a better life than you did.
You can apply that example in a thousand different ways. You can work hard as a parent. You can learn the techniques and study Scripture, but the bottom line is that sooner or later all parents blow it. What do you do? You ask your child to forgive you. You say, “You know what you were doing made me angry and I said some things that I shouldn’t have. I need to ask you to forgive me.” Then, you need to work on your anger.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It’s a tough job, but it is so worthwhile. Brookwood Church has many great parenting resources including Parents Small Groups, BrookwoodU classes, Sunday message series, and many other resources. I would encourage you to find a group or a class. Maybe even find another parent who is a little further down the road than you are. Lastly, pray for your Heavenly Father to give you insight into your children and wisdom for what to do. He gives freely to those who ask.
"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Luke 2:41-50
I love this story. Mary and Joseph lost the Savior. That’s ironic! Jesus came to seek and to save the lost. At 12 years old, He was lost.
I often panic when I can’t spot my kids on the playground. I can’t imagine losing one for a couple of days. But, that’s exactly what Jesus’ parents did. They lost the most significant child to ever be born.
Now, Jesus’ parents weren’t being neglectful. They were probably traveling with a large group of people. And, there were probably other boys named Jesus in the group. It was an honest mistake.
All parents make mistakes. And, their parents also made mistakes. We can trace parenting mistakes all of the way back to Adam and Eve in the Garden. I don’t offer this as an excuse. We can all do better. But, when we start out as parents, we don’t start as a blank slate. We had parents, and fortunately or unfortunately, that is our default.
So let’s say that as a father you have difficulty connecting with your son. When you look back at your childhood, you see that your father had difficulty connecting with you. And, your grandfather had difficulty connecting with your father when he was a boy. By default, this pattern will continue on and on. But, it doesn’t have to.
If by example or makeup or excuse, you cannot connect with your son, then you choose to find what your son is interested in and make a regular effort to connect with him. As unnatural as this might seem at first, over time you make regular connections with your son. With God’s help, that pattern is broken and your grandson will already have a better life than you did.
You can apply that example in a thousand different ways. You can work hard as a parent. You can learn the techniques and study Scripture, but the bottom line is that sooner or later all parents blow it. What do you do? You ask your child to forgive you. You say, “You know what you were doing made me angry and I said some things that I shouldn’t have. I need to ask you to forgive me.” Then, you need to work on your anger.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It’s a tough job, but it is so worthwhile. Brookwood Church has many great parenting resources including Parents Small Groups, BrookwoodU classes, Sunday message series, and many other resources. I would encourage you to find a group or a class. Maybe even find another parent who is a little further down the road than you are. Lastly, pray for your Heavenly Father to give you insight into your children and wisdom for what to do. He gives freely to those who ask.
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Secret from 20 Years of Ministry
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5
I am always surprised at how much people shy away from the title “mentor.” When I talk to people with a lifetime of experience in marriage, parenting, working, following God, and just living, they often don’t feel that they have much to offer. They think, “Who would want to listen to me?” Well, you’d be surprised.
Almost 20 years ago I started teaching at a Bible Institute in Modesto, California. My first class was on the Major Prophets. My joke was that I was going to have to read them first. The truth was it wasn’t a joke. I was a little intimidated to say the least.
I asked another instructor who attended our church how he had become so well versed in the courses he taught. He offered some wise advice, “All you need to do is stay one lesson ahead of the class.” That was it. That was the secret. I’ve been staying one lesson ahead for 20 years now.
How about you? What do you have to offer? Maybe you don’t tweet or have a thousand friends on Facebook. But, if you’ve built a company that you or someone else owned, raised a family, celebrated a silver anniversary, or have faithfully walked with God, you have something to offer someone younger than you.
How do you get started? The BWomen Ministry at Brookwood Church has a mentoring program where they match younger women and mature women together for a period of time. But, all mentoring doesn’t need to be formal. Leading a Small Group gives an opportunity to mentor and help others. In fact, you might even end up mentoring each other. If you have knowledge from your education, employment or even a hobby, BrookwoodU is a great place to share yourself with others.
Why not pray and ask God who you can help? Then, pay attention to who God brings across your path. It’s not a coincidence. Invite them for a cup of coffee, and then go on from there. It’s better than men would mentor men and women mentor women.
If you’re open, God will use you.
I am always surprised at how much people shy away from the title “mentor.” When I talk to people with a lifetime of experience in marriage, parenting, working, following God, and just living, they often don’t feel that they have much to offer. They think, “Who would want to listen to me?” Well, you’d be surprised.
Almost 20 years ago I started teaching at a Bible Institute in Modesto, California. My first class was on the Major Prophets. My joke was that I was going to have to read them first. The truth was it wasn’t a joke. I was a little intimidated to say the least.
I asked another instructor who attended our church how he had become so well versed in the courses he taught. He offered some wise advice, “All you need to do is stay one lesson ahead of the class.” That was it. That was the secret. I’ve been staying one lesson ahead for 20 years now.
How about you? What do you have to offer? Maybe you don’t tweet or have a thousand friends on Facebook. But, if you’ve built a company that you or someone else owned, raised a family, celebrated a silver anniversary, or have faithfully walked with God, you have something to offer someone younger than you.
How do you get started? The BWomen Ministry at Brookwood Church has a mentoring program where they match younger women and mature women together for a period of time. But, all mentoring doesn’t need to be formal. Leading a Small Group gives an opportunity to mentor and help others. In fact, you might even end up mentoring each other. If you have knowledge from your education, employment or even a hobby, BrookwoodU is a great place to share yourself with others.
Why not pray and ask God who you can help? Then, pay attention to who God brings across your path. It’s not a coincidence. Invite them for a cup of coffee, and then go on from there. It’s better than men would mentor men and women mentor women.
If you’re open, God will use you.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
What If the Interruption is God’s Plan?
In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. Luke 1:26-31
Many new moms pick up a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. While the book offers many helpful tips on a variety of topics, even memorizing the book wouldn’t make you fully prepared for motherhood. I think the biggest issue is that the baby hasn’t read the book. The baby just doesn’t know how to act. There is nothing against preparation. But, all of that knowledge paired with a lack of sleep pretty much equals zero in the end.
Mary was unprepared for motherhood to say the least. She was betrothed to Joseph, which was a little more than engaged, but definitely not married. Mary was a virgin. The thought of being pregnant was, well, inconceivable (sorry).
There was no doubt in Mary’s mind that she was pregnant. She wasn’t waiting to see if the line on the test changed color or showed a plus sign. An angel appeared and made the announcement. There was no mistake there.
Now for those who are reading this devotional what occurred with Mary will never occur with you. It’s impossible to identify with immaculate conception or virgin birth. But, what we can relate to is interruptions.
We see most of our interruptions as problems. Our goal is to resolve the interruption and get on with the plan. But, let me ask you this: what if the interruption is the plan? It may not fit our expectation of how we thought things would be. But, it’s certainly not a surprise to God.
Whether you’re a expectant mother preparing for your first born or a middle aged man in a career transition, you are in God’s plan. Do your best to prepare. Then, depend on God for the rest.
Many new moms pick up a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. While the book offers many helpful tips on a variety of topics, even memorizing the book wouldn’t make you fully prepared for motherhood. I think the biggest issue is that the baby hasn’t read the book. The baby just doesn’t know how to act. There is nothing against preparation. But, all of that knowledge paired with a lack of sleep pretty much equals zero in the end.
Mary was unprepared for motherhood to say the least. She was betrothed to Joseph, which was a little more than engaged, but definitely not married. Mary was a virgin. The thought of being pregnant was, well, inconceivable (sorry).
There was no doubt in Mary’s mind that she was pregnant. She wasn’t waiting to see if the line on the test changed color or showed a plus sign. An angel appeared and made the announcement. There was no mistake there.
Now for those who are reading this devotional what occurred with Mary will never occur with you. It’s impossible to identify with immaculate conception or virgin birth. But, what we can relate to is interruptions.
We see most of our interruptions as problems. Our goal is to resolve the interruption and get on with the plan. But, let me ask you this: what if the interruption is the plan? It may not fit our expectation of how we thought things would be. But, it’s certainly not a surprise to God.
Whether you’re a expectant mother preparing for your first born or a middle aged man in a career transition, you are in God’s plan. Do your best to prepare. Then, depend on God for the rest.
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