Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13
When someone hurts us, we are placed at a fork in the road. Simply put, we have two choices: forgiveness or resentment. Neither choice is easy. Resentment locks us in a prison of emotional pain. Forgiveness is freeing, but it’s not cheap.
Some have bought into the false notion that we forgive and forget. I don’t think that’s actually possible. The best we can probably do is forgive and repress, but that actually feels more like resentment.
Forgiveness is costly. Sometimes people will say, “That’s okay. It really doesn’t matter.” That’s not really forgiveness. In fact, forgiveness is only required when their actions really did hurt and really do matter.
Think about this: forgiveness was tremendously costly to God. Jesus died on the cross to offer forgiveness of our sins. God couldn’t say, “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Our sin results in eternal separation from God. Our forgiveness comes at a considerable price.
Forgiveness is not brushing off someone else’s action. Forgiveness says, “I have every right to hold this against you. You harmed me. Intentionally or unintentionally, you did damage to me that I did not deserve. Because of that, you deserve to pay. You deserve the heat of my anger. You certainly don’t deserve to be in relationship with me. But, considering all of that, because Christ forgave me of much worse things, through Christ I am able to forgive you. I don’t know if I can trust you right away, but I am not going to let this stand between us. It will never be forgotten, but I’m not going to hold it against you. And, I will stop wishing that you’d get run over by a bus.”
Who do you need to forgive? On this Mother’s Day week, maybe you need to forgive your mother for something that happened long ago. I would encourage you to release that. Maybe forgiveness isn’t necessarily offered in a conversation with her, but it certainly can be offered in your heart. Even if your mother has passed from this life, it is worth it to free yourself from the bondage of resentment and to forgive.