Modern Day Eunuchs?

By Allen White

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Matthew 19:10-12

In Bible College, there was always a group of guys who claimed to be “Bachelors ‘til the Rapture.” This was the group that spent Saturday nights alone in their dorm rooms. If you couldn’t get a date, then why not over-spiritualize it?

The disciples’ question about avoiding marriage implies that they weren’t married at the time. If they had been married, they would have known better than to ask. Marriage is worth far more than all of the trouble.

To have someone who loves you and believes in you - To have someone to support and encourage - To have a partner and companion - To have a lover and friend – these are the benefits despite any conflicts.

But, Jesus said, “Hey, if you’re called to be a eunuch, then be a eunuch.” Some men were born eunuchs. Some became eunuchs. These often worked in harems. If a person could accept it, then, sure, he could be a eunuch for the Kingdom. Some people are indeed called to be single – but not many of us.

Studies show the happiest man is a married man. Of course, they also say the happiest woman is an unmarried woman. It’s probably a good thing that other studies show that woman tend to outlive men.

When I was single, I was a pretty good Christian in my own mind. Marriage has certainly revealed my selfishness and flaws. Now, I know what to work on. And, I certainly have plenty to pray about.

Several years ago, a man in our church began to lose interest in his wife. His interest was drawn toward a girl he dated in high school. Even though he hadn’t talked to her in years, he began to imagine his life with her instead of his actual wife, who he talked to every day.

Eventually their marriage failed. His relationship with his wife just couldn’t compete with the imaginary relationship in his head. He lost his wife and children to live alone with his fantasy. He never reconnected with his long lost love. Last I heard, he still lives alone.

Would it be better to live alone than to deal with the problems in marriage? Absolutely not. If God has called you to be single for Him, then you’re not married now. If you are single and you feel God has called you to remain single for Him, then God will give you the grace you need.

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Marriage is Hard, Worthwhile Work

By Allen White

When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:1-9

Among the religious people in Jesus’ day, divorce was cheap. If a man’s wife burned his toast, he could simply give her a certificate of divorce, and the marriage was over.

Jesus’ challenge to them and to us is “Don’t cry over burnt toast. Tough it out.” That may seem silly, but think about the reasons people you know have gotten divorced. Did it really have to come to that?

Jesus reminds us that marriage as God intended is a union of body, soul and spirit between a man and a woman. To separate is definitely not a clean break. It’s a jagged tear that leaves both spouses deeply wounded. Even the most seemingly amiable divorce feels like going through Hell.

Marriage takes hard work. Our spouses point out all of our flaws. They know how to push our buttons. At times they are selfish. And, at times, so are we.

Christian artist Steven Curtis Chapman described his marriage as a “30-year tug a war.” That seems like a good description.

All of us are prone to sin. Put two sinful people together for years of marriage, and you will have both mistakes and outright sinfulness. Yes, we should avoid sin – by all means. But, the reality is we all sin, pretty much every day. There is a remedy.

The Bible tells us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Colossians 4:32).  Kindness, compassion and forgiveness can take us all a long way.

There are reasons for divorce. Jesus specifically named sexual immorality. Short of that, we should do our best to work out our problems and become the spouse God intends us to be.

Some days marriage may seem impossible. But, God will help us. God will not help us control our spouse, but He will help us control ourselves.

Years ago, I heard a speaker say that 70 percent of conflict in marriage is caused by the same issues over and over. If nearly three quarters of fights are caused by the same issue, then you’re probably not fighting about as much as you think.

What issues do you need to focus on in your marriage? What resentment or bitterness are nurturing toward your spouse? Forgive and don’t allow the devil to have a foothold in your marriage.

Pray for your spouse every day. Pray for God to use your marriage to grow you spiritually.

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It’s Time to Parole Yourself

By Allen White

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:23-35

For my children, forgiveness is easy. I would even say it’s cheap. They pick on each other and fight like children do. When one of them is hurt or upset, we ask the offender to apologize. It usually goes something like this:

Offender: “I’m sorry.”

Offended: “That’s okay.”

Sometimes we do this sort of exchange too. The problem is that if someone has hurt or offended another, it’s not okay. If it was okay, it wouldn’t hurt. If it was okay, it wouldn’t matter. If it was okay, no apology is necessary. If it’s okay, then what will keep them from doing it again and again? It’s not okay. It does matter.

“I forgive you” are the three most powerful words on the planet. You don’t deserve my forgiveness. In fact, what you deserve looks more like punishment, wrath and resentment. But, forgiveness trumps all of that.

Some things seem impossible to forgive. But, when we think of what Christ bore on the cross, we must remember that no one has wounded us more deeply than the wounds Jesus suffered on our behalf. If in Christ’s power, He can forgive all that we’ve done (and have yet to do), then in Christ’s power, we can also forgive. Don’t get me wrong. What they did is not “Okay.”

The last sentence of this parable is a bit perplexing: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). The Father is going to treat us how?

In the previous paragraph, we see the unmerciful servant was locked up in prison until he paid every cent he owned. Is God going to throw us in jail? Is God going to revoke His forgiveness of our sins?

When we harbor resentment and unforgiveness, we put ourselves in an emotional prison. Rather than releasing someone through forgiveness, we have bound something on earth that is now bound in Heaven. We are the inmate, and our unwillingness to forgive is the jailer. The key to our emotional cell door is forgiveness.

If you don’t think this affects you, then let’s do a quick check up:

How short is your fuse these days?

How bare is your pantry or your liquor cabinet?

How high is your blood pressure?

How empty is your bank account?

How many once new toys sit abandoned in your garage?

How many hours do you clock in at work?

How tense were the family holidays?

You and I cannot avoid our way out of this prison. If we ignore things, they will not go away. In fact, the longer we delay, the worse we make things for ourselves.

But, we think, “It’s not fair. They were the offender, not me.” When it comes to spiritual things, the last thing we want is fair. If Christ was fair with us, we would continue to carry the guilt and shame for all of our sins and eventually pay the price of eternal separation from God. We don’t want fair. We need Jesus.

What has ticked you off about today’s devotional? What person came to mind? What seems impossible to forgive?

Nothing is impossible with God. Ask Him to help you forgive what seems impossible for you to forgive. Isn’t it time to free yourself from that prison?

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[Weekly Digest] Galatians419 Devotionals for week of 1/1/2012

Just in case you missed something this week:

Galatians419 Devotional Changes for 2012

Dear Readers,

We've had a pretty amazing journey on this devotional blog for the last two and a half years. Over 1,300 people read the devotionals every day and the site has over 300,000 views. But, what's mattered the most to me are the personal notes you've sent on the days when a particular devotional touched you. I'm grateful that God has used me in some small way to impact your life. Read more...

Resolving Conflict or Twisting Scripture?

By Allen White   

Believers do a version of this in the church today, but it goes more like this:

If your brother or sister sins, go…to one or two others and talk about the offender. Build your case. Assassinate their character. Hold resentment against them. Snub them at every turn. Make them so uncomfortable that they will eventually leave. Read more...

Can We Over-Forgive?

By Allen White   

Peter was willing to forgive. He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t lose count and over-forgive. After all, everything seems to have its limit. Why offer forgiveness when it’s undeserved? Read more...

Can We Over-Forgive?

By Allen White

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

Peter was willing to forgive. He just wanted to make sure that he didn’t lose count and over-forgive. After all, everything seems to have its limit. Why offer forgiveness when it’s undeserved?

Some translations use “seventy times seven,” while others use “seventy-seven” times. More often than not, the numbers in the Bible are figurative.

I had a professor in seminary who often said, “I wouldn’t bet my life on the numbers in the Bible.” He believed the Bible was the inspired word of God. He just understood the symbolic nature of numbers in Scripture.

So if we’re not to forgive literally 77 times or 490 times (70 x 7), then what is Jesus saying here?  Some have interpreted what 70 and 7 represent. Seven is the Divine number in Scripture. Ten or a multiple of ten points to the exponential, if not infinite, nature of the point.

By using these numbers, Jesus pointed out how forgiveness is both Divine and unending. There is no cutoff at the 78^th or 491^st offense. Forgiveness should go on and on.

Now, there is a difference between forgiveness and co-dependency. Forgiveness is costly. Co-dependency is a burden. Forgiveness doesn’t guarantee reconciliation. Forgiveness isn’t an immediate pathway to trust. There are consequences beyond forgiveness. Yes, we are to turn the other cheek, but as my friend Paul says, “We only have two cheeks.”

How do we know when we’ve forgiven? Well, when we no longer hope the offender gets run over by a bus. When we can actually wish them well, then we know we’ve forgiven.

While the actual act of forgiveness doesn’t take much time, getting to the place where we’re willing to forgive might take a little longer. God is a genius at forgiveness. He will help you forgive even the unforgiveable.

Who do you need to forgive (again)? What’s keeping you from forgiving them?

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Resolving Conflict or Twisting Scripture?

By Allen White

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:15-20

Believers do a version of this in the church today, but it goes more like this:

If your brother or sister sins, go…to one or two others and talk about the offender. Build your case. Assassinate their character. Hold resentment against them. Snub them at every turn. Make them so uncomfortable that they will eventually leave.

It’s pretty obvious that version is a case of twisted Scripture. Jesus wasn’t advocating any kind of triangulation or co-dependency in His teaching. This is a straight forward approach.

Now, someone sinning against us is not just a difference of opinion. When we’re talking sin, it means the 10 Commandments or one of the sin lists from the New Testament. Sins is lying, gossip, slander, stealing, murder, and so on.

If I sin against you, then before you consult with everybody we know, you and I need to sit down – face to face, eye to eye – and you need to point out my fault. But, don’t act like you’ve never sinned.

Now, we might not be able to resolve all of this in one conversation, so let’s keep talking. As long as we are willing to talk to each other, then we don’t need to involve anyone else. But, if at some point, I refuse to admit my fault or seek forgiveness, then it’s time to find a third party to bring into the conversation.

If the assistance of a third party helps things, then we’re good. If not, then we need to involve many more people. Now “church” here could mean different things.

Let’s say the incident occurred within our small group. We don’t need to call a membership meeting of the whole church to address it. But, we do need to discuss this in our group. Again, this is the last resort.

If I continue to refuse you after all of these folks who care about me have intervened, then it’s time to put me out.  But, what does that mean?

Jesus’ instructions were to treat the person like “a pagan or a tax collector.” So, what does that mean?

 In Jesus’ day, a pagan simply was an unbeliever. And, tax collectors were Jews who turned against their own people by collecting taxes for the Romans, and for themselves. Both pagans and tax collectors are essentially unbelievers. How are we supposed to treat unbelievers?

The church’s mission in the world is to love unbelievers and challenge them with their need to repent. After putting an unrepentant believer out of the circle, his fellow brothers and sisters should continue to love him and challenge him to repent. But, they don’t include them in their circle of fellowship. The admission for that is a repentant heart.

But, what if we enforce this and everyone’s circle becomes “me, myself and I.” I think that’s the risk that we take. The greater risk is that by harboring resentment and ignoring offenses, we continue to allow the devil to gain a foothold in the church.

Then, we wonder why the church is dwindling in size and why giving is down. We wonder why we can’t reach more people for Christ. The church can get itself so bound up in unrepentance and sin that God will no longer bless it. Let’s not go there.

Who has sinned against you? You might need to make a list. What is your next step in discussing the situation with them? This doesn’t have to be a hostile confrontation. Maybe they didn’t even realize how their actions affected you. Ask God what you should do next (but don’t ask anyone else).

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Galatians419 Devotional Changes for 2012

Dear Readers,


We've had a pretty amazing journey on this devotional blog for the last two and a half years. Over 1,300 people read the devotionals every day and the site has over 300,000 views. But, what's mattered the most to me are the personal notes you've sent on the days when a particular devotional touched you. I'm grateful that God has used me in some small way to impact your life.


The devotionals started as part of my ministry at Brookwood Church. While I am no longer at Brookwood, I have continued to write five days per week. At this point, however, I am having a little difficulty in finding time to write. I've debated about whether to continue the devotional blog or not. Because of so many faithful readers, I've decided to continue writing, but I do need to make a change.


Starting tomorrow, I will publish the devotional blog three days per week. If you read the devotionals in a blog reader, you will see them on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday. If you read via email, you will receive new devotionals Monday, Wednesday and Thursday each week.


Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!,
Allen White